So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
