Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
