Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
