When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
