i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
