Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize