I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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