Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
