So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
