girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize