so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
