He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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