dude i'm inner monologue high
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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