do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm like, not good at living.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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