i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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