I heard we made out
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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