I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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