Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
even my farts smell like vagina
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
