people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
