it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
