Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize