piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
