I'm so fucking centered right now
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
