so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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