I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
