apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize