is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
