Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
my poor anus
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