No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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