Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
