We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
