so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i now understand why vodka
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
