Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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