I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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