Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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