Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
