i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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