she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
