yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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