Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
3pm strippers are depressing
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
