it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
