he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
