This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
