He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
