I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
