hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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