I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
