oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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