cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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