It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
