Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
