Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
