Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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