Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize