I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
