no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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