As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
