Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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