ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize