Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's blow job season.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
