i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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