The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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