So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
