I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
