yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
and you fell through a lawn chair
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
