Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
