she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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