she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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