I'm gonna have a badass scar
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
