your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
